Getty ImagesJamie McCarthy
Plot twist: This morning, I woke up sick and popped some French cold medicine from a friend. “You’ll feel sooo much better,” she cooed in her Paris accent, but after I swallowed the pills, I felt nothing at all.
Not my body. Not my breath. Not the basic rules of gravity, either, because I swear, I floated down the 2nd Avenue subway platform before gliding—through a sleet storm—into Day 7 of New York Fashion Week. (I imagined I was Frozen’s Queen Elsa, except less prone to forgiveness.)
In my dopey state, I saw stylish visions that couldn’t be real… except, according to the photos, they are. Scroll through to see if I was tripping, or if the entire fashion industry has gone insane. (The answer, of course, is yes to both.)
DID YOU HIRE MERMAIDS?
Cynthia Rowley brought her show to a private indoor pool, and drenched her dresses in dark, shimmery colors last seen in deep sea dives. With fluttery fabrics that moved like the tide, the collection also boasted a swimsuit finale, with 12 models diving into the deep end in wetsuits and heels. Rowley’s surf wear is always killer (and size inclusive!) but makeup from Dose of Colors really stepped up, too: When the models swam a lap, their eyeliner and mascara stayed put.
IS THAT A SHEEP ON THE RUNWAY?
Oscar de la Renta looked expensive and cool, with velvet ponytails and Moroccan lamplight gowns. But one accessory made my brain fuzzy: a tiny felted sheep being held as a handbag. A quick scroll through the runway photos confirmed my suspicions: this collection is not for baaah-sic bitches. (Sorry!)
WHERE DID HALIMA GET HER MEGAWATT HIJAB?
At the Christian Cowan show, which the Kenyan-American closed in a neon-striped suit and a fully sequined headscarf. With the strength of chain mail and the glamour of Disney queens, the accessory was a dramatic challenge to the notion of modesty-as-oppression, and evoked the iconic Hollywood screen sirens of the ‘20s and ‘30s, too.
WHO’S THAT CHRISTINA RICCI DOPPLEGANGER?
Uhhhh… it’s Christina Ricci. The actress modeled in Batsheva Hay’s astonishing presentation, featuring a “sound installation” by songstress (and Hollywood royal) Esther McGregor and Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur. Courtney Love attended in a very on-brand black baby-doll dress, and Ms. Ricci opened the show while celebrating her 39th birthday. Gosh, it was rad.
ISN’T IT 30 DEGREES IN NEW YORK TODAY?
It sure is, and snowing! But if Hong Kong actress Janice Man wants to twirl around the Upper East Side in an eyelet white dress and bare legs, okay. That’s cool, as long as she doesn’t get sick… and has to take weird cough medicine… and then starts writing stories like this…
ARE THESE TWO COATS OR ONE COAT?
Both! Gabriela Hearst showed this genius piece of outerwear that transforms depending on your mood, the weather forecast, and the general state of the universe. In a time where climate and Kondo are both in the zeitgeist, this practical piece of double duty is stunning and spare, too.
CAN AMERICAN GIRL DOLLS BE FASHION ICONS?
Let’s save that Think Piece for later and focus on Vaquera, the avant garde American label whose fall runway included dresses that billowed like smoke, a t-shirt that referenced Carla from The Chew… and maybe Samantha the American Girl. Okay fine, combined with Felicity at Brock Collection, it’s a nascent trend. Kirsten, you want to play, too?
HOW MUCH LEOPARD PRINT IS TOO MUCH?
- 1) There is never too much.
- 2) That’s actually not leopard print! It’s the Coach logo stamped onto fuzzy outerwear pieces like bomber jackets, long coats, and vests. Consider it the subtlest all-over logo this side of Goyard.
IF MY BOYFRIEND WAS AT THE COACH SHOW AND I WAS AT THE COACH SHOW, WHY DIDN’T HE JUST COME HOME WITH ME?
Love is a mystery, babe. Go back to bed.